Birthday gain and new weight loss help

Last Wednesday I had my 44th birthday. It went well, I had an enjoyable day and as would be expected, I ate more than I usually do. That's fine. I usually don't put on much weight on my birthday (Christmas is different - I usually add just under a kilogram). I'm losing that gain now, there aren't any problems with that.

I have asked a workmate if she could help me with my motivation for losing weight. It's quite obvious that the camera in itself is not enough motivation - it's too far away. I'll go back to what has worked in the past - paying someone when I do not live up to weight loss expectations. I've tried this in the past - using someone else on the Internet, but this time I'll use the support of someone in real life, someone who I've actually met and can talk to.

The plan is simple - pay her money each time my weight goes above a line on my weight graph. At the moment, the graph drops by 50 grams each day, not a lot I'd admit, but I want to start with an easy loss then speed things up later on. Because of the birthday gain, I am giving her money, but that's ok, the maximum I'll ever give her is $7 a week, about the cost of a Big Mac combo. My weighings should be under the line in about 3-4 days.

As for an update for saving for the camera here is what I have so far:

Christmas 2006
Dad owes me $25

Christmas 2007
Dad owes me $25
Becky owes me $30

Birthday 2007
Becky owes me $20

Birthday 2008
My brother owes me $64
Cash from various sources $70 (I must quickly convert to vouchers otherwise I'll end up spending it)
Dad owes me $25

Bets I've won $13
Weight loss paymenths $100
Mall voucher $50

Which totals $422, the camera costs (without warranty $545) so I need to save about $3 a week. Easy.

Protein, protein, protein

It is no secret that protein can control my appetite, I've known about that for years. What is difficult however is actually taking it, I'm sure that I could quite easily exist on 20g of protein a day. I've never been a big meat eater, and usually have to remind myself to eat it.

Given that I'm trying to lose weight, I've decided to try this routine:

3 units (20g) of protein a day

Breakfast: Special K and an egg (yes, Special K is full of sugar but it's about the only breakfast cereal that I like that has lots of protein in it)

Lunch: some type of fish

Dinner: whey powder

Cost is an issue, whey powder is expensive but it's easier than fish to eat. Protein is the most expensive thing about being on a diet, and I'm trying to stick to a budget. $20-$25 a week on protein is a lot of money, I'm hoping when I finish this diet I can go below $60 and my average will slowly drop to that value.

I'll try that for a while and see what happens. Also, I've decided to reduce my carbohydrates and see how that goes. If you've read the previous post, you'll be disappointed that I've pretty much not gotten into that scheme, but I think I'll try the protein first and see how that goes.

Another blowout

Yesterday I had another carb-fest, totally uncontrollable and I just ate too much rubbish. I don't really know why that happened, of course my brain is telling me to eat more but why so much craving? Who knows.

I'll recover in a few days but I really, really want to get to goal. So I decided that it's back to negative rewards if I put on weight. I've tried the weight loss buddy in the past, but that wasn't the best solution I've found, because what happens if they disappear? I gain weight.

I'll go back to handing out money to whoever wants it, leaving it on public seats, on fences, in the library, wherever I am and want to give the money away.

However, the rules are as follows:

• I weigh myself daily (as I have done for years, on and off)
  
• If I weigh more than what I have previously chosen as a maximum limit then I give away $1 each day
  
• The maximum limit gets changed when I see fit, allowing for fluctuations of weight, it can go down but not up
  
• I can't save up payments, the maximum I can give must be $2
  

We'll see how that goes. As for previously going low carb, that was going well, but I don't know what to do about whether to stay on it or not. I miss fruit but I'm just not sure what to do.

The maximum limit starts at 86kg, 20kg above goal.

Went swimming

Yesterday I went swimming, the first time in probably 6 months. Many overweight people have issues going swimming, myself included. I want to be thin and go swimming! That's it really. I doubt that women will stare at me or anything, I just want to show off my slim body. Anyway, I decided that I'd reward myself by having a swim every kilogram I lose. The swimming pool was really hot, and I was really tired afterwards, hopefully that will stop when I've lost 20kg of insulation.

I haven't been on a hydroslide for about 5 years, so I was thinking of treating myself when I reach 67kg, 1kg over goal. The reason why I chose that weight was because whenever I go swimming, I always think about my weight. I want to go on the hydroslide when I don't think I wish I was slim right now.

That made me think that maybe I should have more rewards, obviously costing money but not related to eating. Ideally about 5 over the whole period. In terms of the camera, I really couldn't decide whether to buy the extended warranty or not, so I just tossed a coin, and it came up not buy, so that's $250 nearer to goal. The price will probably drop another $50 or so as well.

One weight related problem that I've got is my legs. In the morning my legs can really ache, requiring me to stretch them a lot to get them feeling right. I worked out that it's likely caused by my weight, since when I carry my laptop the problem is more likely. Strangely, it's not always both legs. That's one problem I'll be glad to say goodbye to.

Sudden weight loss

As the graph above shows, in the last 4 days I have lost nearly 3kg. Of course, almost all of that is not fat, my recent binge probably was at least half of it, plus other things such as water throughout my body. Anyway, I was concerned that I was losing weight too fast, so I decided to buy the salami and olives as a way of slowing down my weight loss. I'm in no hurry, so I can take it gently and not rush things.

Because of this, my new plan is to each Monday buy additional food equal to any loss greater than 1kg. It's an arbitrary value, sure but I've got to start somewhere. The additional foods are likely to be olives, salami and nuts. Who knows how long this will last, this quick weight loss, but I don't want it hurting my body.

I guess I'm in the 'honeymoon phase' of the diet. Things are going well. I'm having cravings though, hopefully they'll go away after a few weeks.

As for the camera, I'm not sure whether to buy one with an extended warranty or not. Not doing so means I'll be needing to save $250 less for the camera. However, I can afford the extended warranty, but I can't afford a new camera if it should fail completely a year or so after I buy it. What I'll just do is think it over for the next 7 months, but I won't buy mall vouchers as planned. That means that I may have a financial crisis and use up my savings for other things. Anyway, I'll start saving as planned, just won't buy vouchers.

Another trip to the supermarket today, I bought diet soft drink because I just missed having something sweet.

Coffee $5 7g over 7 days = 1g a day
Diet soft drink $1.37
Peanuts $3.30 145g over 10 days = 15g a day
Total $9.87, plus $44.57 = $54.44

Tuesday
Coffee 5 of 7 1g
Milk 5 of 7 7g
Frozen veges 2 of 2 20g
Salami 2 of 2 4g
Olives 2 of 5 6g
Coffee 1 of 7 1g
Peanuts 1 of 10 15g
total 54g

Short update

In this post I'll just update my spending and carbohydrates. Rather than measuring every day what I eat, I just record the carbohydrates on what I buy. I then just divide that amount by how many days it'll last, and that's a simple estimate on what I'm eating that day.

Food spending so far:
Friday's trip to the supermarket
Tuna $11.40
Coffee $5.19
Milk $1.89
Cheese $2.89
Frozen Veges $8.70
Total $30.07

Carbohydrates
Tuna 6.4g in 4 days = 2g a day
Cheese 2.5 in 3 days = 1g a day
Coffee 7.6g in 7 days = 1g a day
Frozen veges 40g in 4 days = 10g a day
Milk 49g in 7 days = 7g a day

Friday
Tuna 1 of 4 2g
Cheese 1 of 3 1g
Coffee 1 of 7 1g
Frozen veges 1 of 4 10g
Milk 1 of 7 7g
Whey powder 2g
Total 23g

Saturday
Tuna 2 of 4 2g
Cheese 2 of 3 1g
Coffee 2 of 7 1g
Frozen veges 2 of 4 10g
Milk 2 of 7 7g
Whey powder 2g
Total 23g

Sunday
Tuna 3 of 4 2g
Cheese 3 of 3 1g
Coffee 3 of 7 1g
Frozen veges 3 of 4 10g
Milk 3 of 7 7g
Whey powder 2g
Total 23g

Monday - another trip to the supermarket
Frozen veges 5.00, 40g in 2 days
Salami 4.50, 8g in 2 days
Olives 4.00, 27g in 5 days
total so far = $14.50 + 30.07 = $44.57

Carbohydrates
Tuna 4 of 4 2g
Coffee 4 of 7 1g
Frozen veges 4 of 4 10g
Milk 4 of 7 7g
Frozen veges 1 of 2 20g
Salami 1 of 2 4g
Olives 1 of 5 6g
Total 50g

So the carbohydrates are 23, 23, 23, 50g

Cravings and maybe reward meals are a bad idea

The last 3 days have shown that having a high carbohydrate reward is just not a good idea for me, it stimulates my appetite and results in cravings and eating lots of food that I didn't expect to eat that day. I've got 20kg to lose, about $400 to save for the camera, so every kilogram lost I'll just get a $20 voucher from the mall that I expect to buy the camera from. I'll miss rewards, but they just don't seem to work for me.

As for how many grams of carbohydrates to consume each day, that's undecided yet, but almost all of it should come from veges. I also want to post spending (keeping to the $60 a week budget) and grams of carbohyrates eaten, starting today.

Weight gain then loss again

Graph is since Jan 1st

The last couple of months have been rather non eventful for me in terms of weight loss, basically I gained a few kilograms, then I had the whole Christmas/New Year thing, then I lost again. I'm still not back to where I was a few months ago, but that will happen in 2-3 weeks I guess. Today I had my reward meal due to me losing a kilogram since my recent gain, I've been yoyoing a few kilograms recently but now I seem to be back into the whole weight loss thing.

The graph above shows my weight loss since New Years day, I want constant loss, the rate is unimportant, I just don't want to gain.

As for the money towards the camera, here is the update so far:

Christmas 2006
Dad owes me $25

Christmas 2007
Dad owes me $25
Becky owes me $30

Birthday 2007
Becky owes me $20

Birthday 2008
Becky will owe me $40
Becky's mother will probably give $100
Dad $25

Bets I've won $13
Weight loss paymenths $100
Mall voucher $50
Total so far: $428
Camera and extended warranty $880

Which means that I need to save up $452 over more than 8 months, quite achievable.

Day 1 of continuous weight loss and photo diary

January 1st. I'm am sure that there are millions of people around the world who are starting their diet today, my goal is for continuous weight loss for as long as possible. That means in reality, until my birthday on February 20th, 51 days away. I have actually been losing weight since Christmas, so that is included in the mix as well. I'll be happy with a month, I've achieved that before.

I also want to take one photo each day to record my weight loss, that will hopefully reinforce the idea that I want to get a camera so I can enjoy photography more.

Post Christmas continuation of diet

It's been a while since I've posted, that's for sure. I got a new job, unfortunately that job was the worst job I'd ever had (really hard physically) so I needed to comfort eat, it took a day to recover and it was only part time.It took a short time to realise that it was unsuitable, fortunately I got a better job quite easily after that, so there doesn't seem to be any work related stress (except boredom - it's a dull job so I won't stay long) with the new job.

Because of that, I've effectively postponed my weight loss, but I've discovered one important finding: if I don't eat fruit I can really easily keep to about 60g of carbohydrates. So it's no fruit and more vegetables. I miss fruit but if I am ever to actually achieve goal I have to cut back on fruit.

I've got some more money from Christmas, so that means that there is more money going towards the camera when I reach goal. I'll probably do a money related analysis next posting.

I'm also back starting afresh with the keeping to a budget with the whole food thing I did at the start of the blog. I'll also post my purchases and show what a boring (but successful) diet I live on.

Weekly weigh-in

Yes, it's been a while, study got in the way but now I feel as though things are improving diet-wise. As promised earlier, I wanted to have a weekly weigh in, that day is now a Wednesday. My current weight is 84.5kg, slightly more than when I posted earlier. Things are good with me at the moment, so I think that I'll be able to lose weight consistantly until the next challenge occurs.

Still here and behaviour modification

Yes, I'm still here. I've stopped losing weight, although it has suddenly hit me that I am having to pay my accountable person for any non-weight loss, which is a good thing, since it's getting me back in the whole weight loss.

I've also decided to have a weekly weigh-in post on this blog, on a Sunday since that is when my accountable person and I send each other emails. I've been eating properly for a few days, I'm hoping that things will empty out and I'll weigh what I did a week or two again.

When you go out for a coffee to a cafe at a mall, do you notice many people having their coffee and slice on their own? No? Me neither. But that's what I like doing, I've been doing it for at least 10 years now but I don't really know when I started.

It's not good. I guess I go because it's been a bit of a habit for me, I like being around people (sometimes I get lonely) and it's nice to have something tasty to eat.

Well, I'm trying to stop it. I can go with someone else (likely to be my girlfriend) but I'll try to stop going on my own. If I can start something, I can stop it again. I don't know how much this has affected my weight loss, but it's something that I can do without (also - it's expensive).

I don't expect to suddenly stop, I'll try to wean myself off them, when I get a "craving" for one I'll see if I can postpone it or find a reason why it's not a good idea.

I guess it started when I became unwell, I wasn't working and had a lot of time on my hands, when you're lying in bed unwell a lot, sometimes it's nice to be among people. I think that's where the habit has come from.

Anyway, stay tuned for the weigh in on Sunday.

18kg to go

It's taken a while but now I'm 18kg away from goal. As you can see from the graph, I put on weight recently when I realised that my accountable person had decided to stop contacting me, I relaxed somewhat and decided to treat myself. That took a while to get back from, but here I am where I was on the 15th of May.

100g a day is an achieveable amount of carbohydrates, I can sustain that, I'm having a reward meal this afternoon then tomorrow back into the diet and I'll slowly and gently take it down when I feel that I can manage it.

I am through the period that I was dreading a bit, 19th to 23rd, my mother's deaths anniversary was a lot easier to handle, she died when she was 81 which is something most people can accept.

Ramblings

I'm not a big rambler on this blog, but today I thought I'd make an exception. I'm still losing weight, having a new weight loss buddy is great and there are no problems there. I tried 70g of carbohydrates and that was too hard as well, so I thought I'd up it to 100g (today being the first day) and slowly reduce it to see if I can reduce my cravings. I'm still hungry but I'll work that out, hopefully. Losing weight is slow, and you need to work on it every day.

Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of my ex-partner Gill's death at the age of 51. I decided to treat myself to a coffee and slice and think of her and ditch the whole counting carbohydrates for that day. There is something about a nice sweet slice, I like reading the newspaper and looking at the people in the mall that is nearby. I went to university and did some study, sent Gill's daughter a text message then watched music videos on my laptop. The music videos were of songs that reminded me of Gill, there's been a few over the years.

Of course that made me feel even more down, I wonder if I hadn't taken my laptops headphones I would have felt better, as it happened I decided to indulge myself and bought 2 litres of ice cream on the way home. Becky understood of course, I finished off a large plate full then went to bed.

I might do the same (coffee and slice, ice cream I've already got now) on Sunday, when it's the 5th anniversary of my mothers death. It always amazes me when I think of how I continued losing weight during those times. I was a lot thinner than now, I was about 73kg, compared with 84kg now.

Sometimes when you are facing a long, hard challenge and you think about giving up, that happened yesterday (unrelated to the feeling down) but only for a few minutes. I am grateful that my weight loss buddy will hopefully keep me going. I can't think of anything else that will.

A tale of two addictions

A few weeks back I posted about carbohydrate addiction, and how I was sure that I had it. I've also got caffeine addiction, something that many people have and don't need to do anything about, unfortunately I do. My health problem means that when I have caffeine the next day I am really tired, I have trouble dragging myself out of bed in the morning although after a while I feel like I can manage to some degree.

At the moment I'm having way too much Coke, that liquid that has two addicitive substances in it, sugar and caffeine. Yes, there is diet Coke but the sugar substitute in it has the same effect on my whole appetite system as sugar.

I've struggled with caffeine addiction in the past, but I did manage to go a whole two years without one bit (Coke or coffee) which is something I'm quite proud of. I'll try to do that again. I tried today but gave in, tomorrow I'll try again.

The problem with Coke is that when I have it, it stimulates my appetite and I've got no control over what I eat after that. Today I just ate and ate after having the drink, it was shameful really.

That said, tomorrow is another day. I've found the best way to get off caffeine is when I say to myself "Just one drink won't matter" it's time to buy a small bar of chocolate, there is enough caffeine in that to reduce my cravings. After a while the cravings stop, although they can continue for about 6 months, totally random too. Chocolate has sugar in it, which is a problem of course but I don't buy heaps of it so it won't be a too difficult for my whole keeping carbohydrates in check.

One thing I will miss about caffeine (apart from the increased energy feeling) is that I'm sure that it increases my intelligence, usually for about 30 minutes. Oh I really must start work on that data analysis project I've been thinking about for so long I'll think to myself as I'm walking around with a bottle of Coke in my hand or maybe I should do my degree in mathematics rather than engineering, it's not that bad. I'll miss that. I won't miss the crappy feeling in the morning or the circulation problems.

60g a day is just too hard

As I was slowly eating half an apple today, I decided that 60g of carbohydrates a day is just too difficult for me, I'm constantly thinking of food, not because I'm hungry (which I'm not) but because I'm thinking of spreading the whole 60g throughout the day and not eating a whole piece of fruit because I may get hungry later on. That's the hard part about the diet that I'm on. So I'll try 70g a day and see how that goes. If that's too hard (I'll see if I'm thinking about food constantly too) I'll just increase it in 10g steps until things are easier. I can always reduce it later on when any residual craving/habit leaves me.

Speaking of habits, this diet is hard because of the volume of food that I'm eating. There is just not much of it, so I'm used to having a piece of fruit now and then (it's not unusual for me to eat 6 pieces of fruit a day when I'm not trying to lose weight) and the whole filling my stomach - I've done that for 43 years and a 43 year habit is hard to break. I'm sure I'll get there, but this is too difficult at the moment.

I am sorry to say that my accountable person has stopped contacting me, so I needed to go out and find a new one soon, fortunately it was easier than I expected it to be. It's sad that people decide to stop losing weight, but I definitely need someone with me, I don't know if I can do this on my own.

As a consequence, I put on a bit of weight over the last week, but it's not fat, just what I'd call "intestinal mass". So I'm losing this mass and my weight is dropping suddenly, always good, but I'm not really losing fat very fast or anything.

In terms of money spent on food, total so far is $460.59 over 54 days which means $59.71, just below my budget of $60.00, money for my camera should be $176, none so far, until I get some extra money.

Amazingly, someone reaches goal

I've been reading weight loss blogs for about 2 years now, and I have yet to see someone actually reach goal weight - until now. Lesley of Live to Slim has made it, she lost 53kg and went from a BMI of 44.5 to 25.8. Congratulations Lesley! She used Lighter Life to lose the weight, which is a very low energy diet. I'm sure all readers here wish her well.

This means that I will not be coming first on my little competition to reach goal, the number of blogs that I'm checking seems to be reducing (2 women got pregnant and one deleted their blog - always sad to see that happen), and there are a few people who may beat me to the finish line. We'll see.

Have a look on the right hand sidebar, you'll see "Weight Loss Hall of Fame" which is a list of blogs that I read where the owner reaches goal, Lesley is first there and maybe a few more before I can list my own blog. Yes, it does seem a bit silly with a blog listing itself but losing weight and reaching goal is something that I should be proud of.

Congratulations again Lesley, we all wish you all the best at maintaining your new achievement!

Just an update

As is typical for me, I haven't posted what I've meant to post, which is my carbohydrate intake. Anyway, I'm losing weight because I actually have started cutting back on the carbs, for a few days now I've been at 60g a day and for a few days I've been over that. I've noticed that my weight has dropped dramatically but I'm sure that it's just all the food emptying from my body, rather than fat disappearing.

Yesterday I was in a bit of a tizz about how my blog has an estimate on when I will complete my weight loss. When I first gave an estimate when I started the blog, I chose 250 days, and yesterday I decided that I should reduce that to 230 days. The thing is that many times I've worked out by mathematical means how long it would take me to finish losing weight, and of course I've been wrong because I haven't been at goal in about 7 years, so you can understand why I wasn't sure what to do. I decided that I'd keep it at 230 days, it will always show too many days because I'd rather not have to increase the number, I'd hate that. I have a theoretically possible date in my head which is early January, based on 7 days per kg but there is no way that I'd be able to sustain that, it's just a "if I were able to..." calculation.

It's been ages since I've done my money, I've spent $202.45 since the last calculation (of course I've left it way too long) making a total of $335.29 since July 21st which is $49.94 a week, amazingly below budget. From now on, I'll be (hopefully!) writing what I buy, it's a bit of a nuisance but it is a bit scary doing so, which does mean it keeps me on track a bit.

The money container should have $142 in it but it has none, that's because I'm a bit short of money at the moment, when that situation stops then I'll be able top it up to what it should be. On a side note, Becky lost a $5 bet (whether her friend came to NZ from the UK recently with her partner and was going to announce something (engagement, pregnancy...), I said she wouldn't) so that goes into the container as well. I seem to win most of the bets I have with her, it's pretty easy really. Of course, I'm hoping to win the $150 bet with her about whether I can stay at goal for one year after finishing losing weight.

Speaking of Becky, a few days ago I asked her whether I was losing weight too quickly for her, she said no, and said that she really did want me to get to 66kg. I've just got a feeling that those negative comments will start again, time will tell I guess.

Carboyhdrate addiction...

It is becoming so obvious to me that I suffer carbohydrate addiction. Yesterday, the first day of my medium carbohydrate diet, I got an uncontrollable urge to go and have some sweet things to eat, and I also had a nice sweet drink. Basically, it's there, telling me to go and buy and eat foods that aren't good for me.

I got out the Carbohydrate Addicts Diet out of the library, did the self-test and got 18 points out of 60. That's in the 'safe zone' but I still think I'm addicted. There is just too much evidence.

Because of that, I'm still trying to do the 60g a day. One thing about me, I haven't got staying power (hopefully that will change) but I keep trying.

Apart from that, the weight loss is going fine as usual. Tomorrow, I start writing down (and displaying here) my carbohydrate consumption.

Goodbye emergency jeans

About 3 months ago, as my weight was slowly increasing, I knew that I had to get another set of pants, as the main set (I don't have many - testiment to me holding out until I lose weight) were about to 'burst'. Really. So I went and got a cheap set - waist 90cm and of course the biggest pair of pants I've ever owned. Jean designers take the easy way out - the bigger the body, the higher the waist. I felt like I was wearing fishing waders. Anyway, they served me well those emergency jeans, but when I was doing some work outside, they kept on slipping down, it was obvious that their time had come to an end. Off they go. I'll still wear them once in a while, but again only as emergency jeans, when my main pair aren't available.

That leaves me with just one pair, which are really tight (I had to lie down to put them on, I think they'll loosen up a bit maybe) but they look ok. I've got a muffin top now, but it'll go away within 5kg (fingers crossed). I've got a waist 79cm pair of jeans that have been waiting quietly to be worn for at least 18 months, I bought them when they were tight, and I started gaining just afterwards. There is no way in hell I'll be able to wear them for at least 10kg loss, maybe more. I've also scheduled a second pair of that size as a reward for when I reach 72kg.

It feels good to be able to 'turn back time', so to speak. My stomach is forced up and out with these now pants, but as time progresses they'll loosen up as I lose weight.