Ramblings

I'm not a big rambler on this blog, but today I thought I'd make an exception. I'm still losing weight, having a new weight loss buddy is great and there are no problems there. I tried 70g of carbohydrates and that was too hard as well, so I thought I'd up it to 100g (today being the first day) and slowly reduce it to see if I can reduce my cravings. I'm still hungry but I'll work that out, hopefully. Losing weight is slow, and you need to work on it every day.

Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of my ex-partner Gill's death at the age of 51. I decided to treat myself to a coffee and slice and think of her and ditch the whole counting carbohydrates for that day. There is something about a nice sweet slice, I like reading the newspaper and looking at the people in the mall that is nearby. I went to university and did some study, sent Gill's daughter a text message then watched music videos on my laptop. The music videos were of songs that reminded me of Gill, there's been a few over the years.

Of course that made me feel even more down, I wonder if I hadn't taken my laptops headphones I would have felt better, as it happened I decided to indulge myself and bought 2 litres of ice cream on the way home. Becky understood of course, I finished off a large plate full then went to bed.

I might do the same (coffee and slice, ice cream I've already got now) on Sunday, when it's the 5th anniversary of my mothers death. It always amazes me when I think of how I continued losing weight during those times. I was a lot thinner than now, I was about 73kg, compared with 84kg now.

Sometimes when you are facing a long, hard challenge and you think about giving up, that happened yesterday (unrelated to the feeling down) but only for a few minutes. I am grateful that my weight loss buddy will hopefully keep me going. I can't think of anything else that will.