It is becoming so obvious to me that I suffer carbohydrate addiction. Yesterday, the first day of my medium carbohydrate diet, I got an uncontrollable urge to go and have some sweet things to eat, and I also had a nice sweet drink. Basically, it's there, telling me to go and buy and eat foods that aren't good for me.
I got out the Carbohydrate Addicts Diet out of the library, did the self-test and got 18 points out of 60. That's in the 'safe zone' but I still think I'm addicted. There is just too much evidence.
Because of that, I'm still trying to do the 60g a day. One thing about me, I haven't got staying power (hopefully that will change) but I keep trying.
Apart from that, the weight loss is going fine as usual. Tomorrow, I start writing down (and displaying here) my carbohydrate consumption.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Goodbye emergency jeans
About 3 months ago, as my weight was slowly increasing, I knew that I had to get another set of pants, as the main set (I don't have many - testiment to me holding out until I lose weight) were about to 'burst'. Really. So I went and got a cheap set - waist 90cm and of course the biggest pair of pants I've ever owned. Jean designers take the easy way out - the bigger the body, the higher the waist. I felt like I was wearing fishing waders. Anyway, they served me well those emergency jeans, but when I was doing some work outside, they kept on slipping down, it was obvious that their time had come to an end. Off they go. I'll still wear them once in a while, but again only as emergency jeans, when my main pair aren't available.
That leaves me with just one pair, which are really tight (I had to lie down to put them on, I think they'll loosen up a bit maybe) but they look ok. I've got a muffin top now, but it'll go away within 5kg (fingers crossed). I've got a waist 79cm pair of jeans that have been waiting quietly to be worn for at least 18 months, I bought them when they were tight, and I started gaining just afterwards. There is no way in hell I'll be able to wear them for at least 10kg loss, maybe more. I've also scheduled a second pair of that size as a reward for when I reach 72kg.
It feels good to be able to 'turn back time', so to speak. My stomach is forced up and out with these now pants, but as time progresses they'll loosen up as I lose weight.
That leaves me with just one pair, which are really tight (I had to lie down to put them on, I think they'll loosen up a bit maybe) but they look ok. I've got a muffin top now, but it'll go away within 5kg (fingers crossed). I've got a waist 79cm pair of jeans that have been waiting quietly to be worn for at least 18 months, I bought them when they were tight, and I started gaining just afterwards. There is no way in hell I'll be able to wear them for at least 10kg loss, maybe more. I've also scheduled a second pair of that size as a reward for when I reach 72kg.
It feels good to be able to 'turn back time', so to speak. My stomach is forced up and out with these now pants, but as time progresses they'll loosen up as I lose weight.
Another kg down
This last kilogram took a while (about 13 days in fact) but I'm pleased to say that I've lost another kilogram. So I've lost about 3 1/2 kilograms, at this point I'd normally be getting bored and tired with the whole losing weight game, but now that I've got my accountable person who is watching what I'm doing, and also there is no way that I'm going to give them heaps of money, I think I've got things worked out, at least for the moment. It has been so long since I've been in the sixties kilograms, 8 years really, and I don't know whether other people do this, but I've got all these memories (I think I've got a good memory) of all of my weight loss efforts, the running, Zone diet, telling friends I've lost another kg, blogging etc etc since December 2000, and I hate to say that all of it has come to naught. That makes me feel sad.
I'm a big fan of thinking "lowest weight since xxxx" so as I lose weight I can wipe the slate clean of all those memories. Especially 72-74kg, that was a time in 2002 when I was having essentially the worst year of my life (and future life, until the year I die) and I feel sad that I put on so much since those troubles. Anyway, I'm the lowest weight since about the 22nd May this year. Nothing of significance happening then, apart from my partner had just moved in about 3 weeks earlier.
Because things have been slowing down, I've decided to put in another attempt at restricting carbohydrates, and going for about 60g a day. I'll give it a go for a week, I've done this before but I like fruit, which is the problem. I guess that an apple fills my stomach quite a bit, part of the pleasure in eating it I guess. I'll try to have only one of each variety of fruit each day, to increase my pleasure in food when it comes to restricting carbohydrates.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Fears
I thought I would make a list of the fears related to my weight loss, this list will be interesting and useful when I complete my weight loss.
That I will put on weight and the whole losing weight thing will be a failure. This is a reasonable fear, after all it has happened many times in the past. The only way to prevent it from happening is to have 2 guiding systems in place - an incentive to lose weight (the camera) and an incentive to not put on weight or lose weight too slowly (giving money to the person that I am accountable to). I guess that is all I have.
That I've been bigger for so long that I won't accept my new slim body. I know that some people have this problem, I think it's unlikely (I do recall staring at the mirror a lot in 2000) but it'll be about 11 years since I've been at 66kg. I'm sure lots of people will agree, that's a long, long time. Even at 67kg, it's been 7 years since I've been there.
That my partner will not be attracted to me when I am at goal. I really don't know about this one. Becky has certainly seen video and photos of me when I was young and slim, and when we met I was only about 8kg heavier than goal weight. But she has over the years shown that she is uncomfortable with my weight loss, either by making negative comments (infrequent but there nonetheless) or inferring in a general way that she wasn't keen on me losing weight. Someone said that it was likely related to her own size, but it's hard to work out if that's the case.
Should I ever be single again, that women will not be attracted to a thin man. If the fear above is difficult to predict, this one is even harder to work out. Certainly one woman has found me attractive at 66kg, but when it came to dating, I was generally heavier than what I'd liked to be. There seems to be a general consensus that woman like medium build, muscular guys and not being muscular, and intending to be thin, that leaves me out. For my age and height, I'd be in the lightest 5% of men. I know all women are different but it is an issue that concerns me, not a large amount, but it's there.
That the person who I am being accountable to will stop being that and as a result I put on weight. This seems to be working so well at the moment, I'd hate it to stop working. Should it do so, the answer would be to go to a website like Sparkpeople.com and find one as soon as possible, preferably in New Zealand.
I will hit goal and then rebound, like I did in 2000. In 2000, I reached goal (67kg back then) and immediately rebounded since I was under a lot of stress with my girlfriends parents, in an unusual situation. It is unlikely that sort of stress will reoccur, but since it's happened once, it could happen again. I've got a $150 bet with Becky about whether I'll stay at goal for one year, hopefully that'll keep me on track. Once I'm at goal, I intend to save up for a more expensive camera, over a much longer period of time. Again, using the same general method as now (saving money only when I'm at 66kg). A good idea would be to keep in contact with an accountable person, using a similar method that I've got now.
My weight loss will induce a metabolic problem such as reduced metabolic rate. I don't think that it is likely that this will happen, but you never know, do you? I've read that dieting makes people more likely to gain weight in the future, but with a 98% failure rate, it isn't surprising. Then again, it's logical that the body will enter 'starvation mode' under the stress of losing weight quickly (I'm not doing that) but the question is when does it happen and when doesn't it? When is it permanent and when is it temporary? No one is likely to have answers to this question.
Some problem will enter my life and I'll put on weight, either during the weight loss or at goal. This has happened before - breaking my arm after having been at goal for 1 year, also ex girlfriend breaking up with me in a totally unexpected situation, we continued seeing each other but because of the situation that presented itself, I was quite lonely. These things can't be predicted, they happen about once every 3-5 years. That means they are reasonably unlikely to happen before reaching goal weight. If they happen after, well I'll just have to take things in my stride I guess.
Those are the main fears that I have related to weight loss. They aren't big, but they're there. It will be interesting to see how I'll feel about them as I lose weight and when I reach goal.
That I will put on weight and the whole losing weight thing will be a failure. This is a reasonable fear, after all it has happened many times in the past. The only way to prevent it from happening is to have 2 guiding systems in place - an incentive to lose weight (the camera) and an incentive to not put on weight or lose weight too slowly (giving money to the person that I am accountable to). I guess that is all I have.
That I've been bigger for so long that I won't accept my new slim body. I know that some people have this problem, I think it's unlikely (I do recall staring at the mirror a lot in 2000) but it'll be about 11 years since I've been at 66kg. I'm sure lots of people will agree, that's a long, long time. Even at 67kg, it's been 7 years since I've been there.
That my partner will not be attracted to me when I am at goal. I really don't know about this one. Becky has certainly seen video and photos of me when I was young and slim, and when we met I was only about 8kg heavier than goal weight. But she has over the years shown that she is uncomfortable with my weight loss, either by making negative comments (infrequent but there nonetheless) or inferring in a general way that she wasn't keen on me losing weight. Someone said that it was likely related to her own size, but it's hard to work out if that's the case.
Should I ever be single again, that women will not be attracted to a thin man. If the fear above is difficult to predict, this one is even harder to work out. Certainly one woman has found me attractive at 66kg, but when it came to dating, I was generally heavier than what I'd liked to be. There seems to be a general consensus that woman like medium build, muscular guys and not being muscular, and intending to be thin, that leaves me out. For my age and height, I'd be in the lightest 5% of men. I know all women are different but it is an issue that concerns me, not a large amount, but it's there.
That the person who I am being accountable to will stop being that and as a result I put on weight. This seems to be working so well at the moment, I'd hate it to stop working. Should it do so, the answer would be to go to a website like Sparkpeople.com and find one as soon as possible, preferably in New Zealand.
I will hit goal and then rebound, like I did in 2000. In 2000, I reached goal (67kg back then) and immediately rebounded since I was under a lot of stress with my girlfriends parents, in an unusual situation. It is unlikely that sort of stress will reoccur, but since it's happened once, it could happen again. I've got a $150 bet with Becky about whether I'll stay at goal for one year, hopefully that'll keep me on track. Once I'm at goal, I intend to save up for a more expensive camera, over a much longer period of time. Again, using the same general method as now (saving money only when I'm at 66kg). A good idea would be to keep in contact with an accountable person, using a similar method that I've got now.
My weight loss will induce a metabolic problem such as reduced metabolic rate. I don't think that it is likely that this will happen, but you never know, do you? I've read that dieting makes people more likely to gain weight in the future, but with a 98% failure rate, it isn't surprising. Then again, it's logical that the body will enter 'starvation mode' under the stress of losing weight quickly (I'm not doing that) but the question is when does it happen and when doesn't it? When is it permanent and when is it temporary? No one is likely to have answers to this question.
Some problem will enter my life and I'll put on weight, either during the weight loss or at goal. This has happened before - breaking my arm after having been at goal for 1 year, also ex girlfriend breaking up with me in a totally unexpected situation, we continued seeing each other but because of the situation that presented itself, I was quite lonely. These things can't be predicted, they happen about once every 3-5 years. That means they are reasonably unlikely to happen before reaching goal weight. If they happen after, well I'll just have to take things in my stride I guess.
Those are the main fears that I have related to weight loss. They aren't big, but they're there. It will be interesting to see how I'll feel about them as I lose weight and when I reach goal.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
20kg to go
Yes, it's boring but I want to announce to the world that I've lost yet another kilogram. Having an accountable person really makes things a whole lot easier. I don't want to go on about how this has helped things (just in case I jinx things) but having someone going along with me has helped things immensely. Also, weighing daily helps as well, I'm an immediate feedback sort of person. I need to know when I'm losing weight and I need to know when I'm gaining. Currently I owe my accountable person $2. Lowest weight in about 80 days.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Speeding up a bit
I thought through the whole am I losing weight too slowly thing yesterday and decided that it was definitely time to make a concerted effort to lose weight faster. You may recall that I was planning to talk to someone who I could be made accountable to in terms of gaining weight, that was fine but now I've decided to speed things up, I've changed plans somewhat and now I have a specific rate that I want to lose at. I've decided to not put that rate up here, because I realised that any pressure has a negative effect on me. The less people who know about my desired rate the better.
In order to make things easier, I'm as an experiment going back to counting carbohydrates, and allowing myself a bit more this time, 80 grams a day. Remember, this is just an experiment so if it turns out bad, I'll just stop doing it.
I had my reward meal yesterday, McDonalds burger, chips and drink. It was nice, mainly because it was a reward rather than the actual food. Funny that.
In order to make things easier, I'm as an experiment going back to counting carbohydrates, and allowing myself a bit more this time, 80 grams a day. Remember, this is just an experiment so if it turns out bad, I'll just stop doing it.
I had my reward meal yesterday, McDonalds burger, chips and drink. It was nice, mainly because it was a reward rather than the actual food. Funny that.
Friday, August 10, 2007
21kg to go
It may be boring but I feel the need to count down the kilograms that I need to lose. That may change in the future, but for now it is good for me to do. I haven't lost much, about 1.6kg, but I've got to start somewhere and I'm the lowest weight in about 8 weeks which isn't bad. A bigger concern is the time I'm taking to lose weight, at the moment I'm losing very slowly, I need to speed it up a bit, but not too much, or I'll have problems when I fail to reach goals.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Things are going ok - but slowly
I'm still losing weight, but the rate that I'm losing is quite slow - which means that I might not make my goal weight by next Easter, when I'm having my high school reunion. That really doesn't bother me too much (there aren't likely to be many people there who know me) but I don't want the whole losing weight thing to drag on forever. Of course, if I push it up a bit, I'll feel pressure and I've found pressure to lose weight at a specific rate in the past has not been very successful, it only leads to disappointment.
Eating has not been that much better than before:
Thursday
Coffee and slice $7.50
Takeaways $2.50
Friday
Burger, chips and drink $6.80
Drink $3.00
Saturday
Milk $2.20
Sweets $1.00
Sunday
Coffee and slice $4.80
Takeaways $2.50
Monday
Apples $3.00
Instant coffee $11.96
Bananas $0.34
Carrots $2.38
Apples $6.66
Ham $1.63
Ice cream $2.89
Cake slice $1.98
Mondays shopping was a lot better, I'm trying to buy 2 litres of ice cream once a month as my source of a treat, and the slice of cake is when I go out, I'll take it with me and buy a coffee to have with it when I'm out.
Total so far is $132.84 which equals $51.66 a week, a bit on the high side, since I'm having whey powder and frozen veges which I bought earlier.
Money to be put away for the camera totals so far is $46, however I
haven't got around to physically putting the money into the jar, no
doubt that will happen later on.
I think that I've got someone who is willing to help me with the whole preventing putting on weight thing. That is the biggest amount of support I've got from someone in terms of losing weight for as long as I can remember. I'm very pleased and looking forward to being accountable to someone. I did a similar thing with my brother earlier in the year, but after a few months he suggested that we finish because one particular month both of us put on weight - I guess it wasn't working for him (we were trying to lose weight together).
Eating has not been that much better than before:
Thursday
Coffee and slice $7.50
Takeaways $2.50
Friday
Burger, chips and drink $6.80
Drink $3.00
Saturday
Milk $2.20
Sweets $1.00
Sunday
Coffee and slice $4.80
Takeaways $2.50
Monday
Apples $3.00
Instant coffee $11.96
Bananas $0.34
Carrots $2.38
Apples $6.66
Ham $1.63
Ice cream $2.89
Cake slice $1.98
Mondays shopping was a lot better, I'm trying to buy 2 litres of ice cream once a month as my source of a treat, and the slice of cake is when I go out, I'll take it with me and buy a coffee to have with it when I'm out.
Total so far is $132.84 which equals $51.66 a week, a bit on the high side, since I'm having whey powder and frozen veges which I bought earlier.
Money to be put away for the camera totals so far is $46, however I
haven't got around to physically putting the money into the jar, no
doubt that will happen later on.
I think that I've got someone who is willing to help me with the whole preventing putting on weight thing. That is the biggest amount of support I've got from someone in terms of losing weight for as long as I can remember. I'm very pleased and looking forward to being accountable to someone. I did a similar thing with my brother earlier in the year, but after a few months he suggested that we finish because one particular month both of us put on weight - I guess it wasn't working for him (we were trying to lose weight together).
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Things are going well
I seem to be getting into the swing of things, finally. I had some problems with my scales, they may (or not have) been showing the wrong values, which is a royal pain but there is not much that can be done about that. I certainly know how some people feel dispair when after trying to lose weight for a month, say and after weighing themselves find they have not lost any weight. For me, more often is better, and it's good to alternate dressed and undressed just in case the scales are playing tricks on me.
How often should a person weigh themself? The best I've decided is not so often that the person is feeling over overwhelmed by the quantity of weighings, and not so infrequent that if the scales do not budge one point, the person is upset about it.
I haven't got around to calibrating my scales yet, but at the moment I'm about 87.5kg.
Food wise, it hasn't been great - I've been buying not so good food:
Sunday
Milk $2.90
Crustkits $2.50
Biscuits $2.40
Monday
Sweets $2
Wednesday
Coffee and slice $7.50
Thursday
KFC $5
Friday
Filled roll $4.50
Coffee and slice $9.50
Drink $3
Saturday
Burger and ice cream $2.60
Sunday
Apples $3
Pop corn $2
Monday
Coffee and slice $7.50
Tuesday
Croissants $5
Notice that most of the above food would be described as recreational food. I need to do better in that, the maximum recreational food amount per week should be $10-15.
Total so far is $71.70 over 12 days which equals $41.83 a week. A bit high, given that I've got a large amount of vegetables and protein powder powder that I am going through. As for saving up for the camera, I need $28 in my container now, unfortunately there is none, but I'll start putting money in there and soon I'll have caught up with what I should have put in.
How often should a person weigh themself? The best I've decided is not so often that the person is feeling over overwhelmed by the quantity of weighings, and not so infrequent that if the scales do not budge one point, the person is upset about it.
I haven't got around to calibrating my scales yet, but at the moment I'm about 87.5kg.
Food wise, it hasn't been great - I've been buying not so good food:
Sunday
Milk $2.90
Crustkits $2.50
Biscuits $2.40
Monday
Sweets $2
Wednesday
Coffee and slice $7.50
Thursday
KFC $5
Friday
Filled roll $4.50
Coffee and slice $9.50
Drink $3
Saturday
Burger and ice cream $2.60
Sunday
Apples $3
Pop corn $2
Monday
Coffee and slice $7.50
Tuesday
Croissants $5
Notice that most of the above food would be described as recreational food. I need to do better in that, the maximum recreational food amount per week should be $10-15.
Total so far is $71.70 over 12 days which equals $41.83 a week. A bit high, given that I've got a large amount of vegetables and protein powder powder that I am going through. As for saving up for the camera, I need $28 in my container now, unfortunately there is none, but I'll start putting money in there and soon I'll have caught up with what I should have put in.
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