Friday, August 17, 2007

Fears

I thought I would make a list of the fears related to my weight loss, this list will be interesting and useful when I complete my weight loss.

That I will put on weight and the whole losing weight thing will be a failure. This is a reasonable fear, after all it has happened many times in the past. The only way to prevent it from happening is to have 2 guiding systems in place - an incentive to lose weight (the camera) and an incentive to not put on weight or lose weight too slowly (giving money to the person that I am accountable to). I guess that is all I have.

That I've been bigger for so long that I won't accept my new slim body. I know that some people have this problem, I think it's unlikely (I do recall staring at the mirror a lot in 2000) but it'll be about 11 years since I've been at 66kg. I'm sure lots of people will agree, that's a long, long time. Even at 67kg, it's been 7 years since I've been there.

That my partner will not be attracted to me when I am at goal. I really don't know about this one. Becky has certainly seen video and photos of me when I was young and slim, and when we met I was only about 8kg heavier than goal weight. But she has over the years shown that she is uncomfortable with my weight loss, either by making negative comments (infrequent but there nonetheless) or inferring in a general way that she wasn't keen on me losing weight. Someone said that it was likely related to her own size, but it's hard to work out if that's the case.

Should I ever be single again, that women will not be attracted to a thin man. If the fear above is difficult to predict, this one is even harder to work out. Certainly one woman has found me attractive at 66kg, but when it came to dating, I was generally heavier than what I'd liked to be. There seems to be a general consensus that woman like medium build, muscular guys and not being muscular, and intending to be thin, that leaves me out. For my age and height, I'd be in the lightest 5% of men. I know all women are different but it is an issue that concerns me, not a large amount, but it's there.

That the person who I am being accountable to will stop being that and as a result I put on weight. This seems to be working so well at the moment, I'd hate it to stop working. Should it do so, the answer would be to go to a website like Sparkpeople.com and find one as soon as possible, preferably in New Zealand.

I will hit goal and then rebound, like I did in 2000. In 2000, I reached goal (67kg back then) and immediately rebounded since I was under a lot of stress with my girlfriends parents, in an unusual situation. It is unlikely that sort of stress will reoccur, but since it's happened once, it could happen again. I've got a $150 bet with Becky about whether I'll stay at goal for one year, hopefully that'll keep me on track. Once I'm at goal, I intend to save up for a more expensive camera, over a much longer period of time. Again, using the same general method as now (saving money only when I'm at 66kg). A good idea would be to keep in contact with an accountable person, using a similar method that I've got now.

My weight loss will induce a metabolic problem such as reduced metabolic rate. I don't think that it is likely that this will happen, but you never know, do you? I've read that dieting makes people more likely to gain weight in the future, but with a 98% failure rate, it isn't surprising. Then again, it's logical that the body will enter 'starvation mode' under the stress of losing weight quickly (I'm not doing that) but the question is when does it happen and when doesn't it? When is it permanent and when is it temporary? No one is likely to have answers to this question.

Some problem will enter my life and I'll put on weight, either during the weight loss or at goal. This has happened before - breaking my arm after having been at goal for 1 year, also ex girlfriend breaking up with me in a totally unexpected situation, we continued seeing each other but because of the situation that presented itself, I was quite lonely. These things can't be predicted, they happen about once every 3-5 years. That means they are reasonably unlikely to happen before reaching goal weight. If they happen after, well I'll just have to take things in my stride I guess.

Those are the main fears that I have related to weight loss. They aren't big, but they're there. It will be interesting to see how I'll feel about them as I lose weight and when I reach goal.

4 comments:

Lily T said...

Writing down your fears is such a good idea. I have found that this has made the fears less powerful, so that when motivation is way down the reasons to quite aren’t so tempting.

By chance were you Logical Guy? If you are, welcome back to the blogverse! I enjoyed your comments past, and I’m glad that you’re commenting again. I especially appreciated your recent comment. Thanks. It made me feel better.

Paige said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

I wonder if your partner is afraid you might leave her if you were to get thinner. But it sounds like, unlike most people, you fear being less attractive when you are thinner than at your current weight. I am married to a man who is fairly thin, so I do feel more pressure to get thin as a result, and I don't always appreciate that pressure.

The weight loss thing is complicated. There are so many different pressures pushing us in different directions.

Good luck to you. I'll be interested to see how your incentive system works out.

~~Midnight Raider~~ said...

Fears are normal. It's great that you're able to face and address them... it'll help you stay focused and deal with any issues that arise because of your fears.